Fostering Relationship With Self

In a time and place where self-care is all the buzz; what does it really mean to have a healthy relationship with self? Is it having a massage once a month? Is it taking time to do what you want to do and foregoing responsibilities related to work and family? Is it making sure you are doing all the basic to do’s on your list… groceries, exercise, doctor appointments, car maintenance, etc?

As human beings, our first model of a relationship with self comes from observing our caregivers, who are often times our parents. We witness how they care for themselves. Ideally, there is a healthy balance of our parents caring for others and caring for themselves. But what are some ways we can, as adults, foster our relationship with self?

First, we must be aware of our self. We must know that we have a relationship with self. We notice how we think of self, how we speak to self, and how we behave toward self. Only after this awareness of self can we create a relationship with self.

Once that is established, it is important to be kind and gentle to our self. We are ever changing beings who thrive and suffer, make strides and mistakes. We can notice how we speak to self and create language that fosters a positive and healthy relationship. We can approach self with acceptance and curiosity. Another aspect of being kind to self is to prioritize basic needs. We can ensure we are caring for our physical, nutritional, mental and social needs. We give our self the nutrition, exercise, sleep, recreational time we need and shift our mental self to a way of being that is gentle and caring.

Many in our society have been raised or taught to believe that care for self is “selfish” or over indulgent. Many things that we consider luxuries are actually needs. Of course, being overly self-involved can create havoc in relationships with others and ultimately with self; however, basic care and relationship with self puts us in a position to better respond in all of our other relationships.

What are some ways you foster your relationship with self?

Love,

Melissa